Dating scams and fake profiles: how to recognise them

His name is Daniel. An engineer on an oil rig, widowed, one child. He writes to you every morning, remembers every detail and happens to share your passion for old trains. After three weeks, he talks about coming to see you. Then his visa gets stuck, and all he is missing is enough to cover the fees to travel.

Daniel does not exist. His photos belong to someone else, his messages follow a script, and the person writing them may be running several "relationships" at once. This scenario, endlessly recycled, is one of the most common on dating sites and apps.

These scams do not target naive people. They are run by organised scammers, sometimes in networks, who exploit what everyone looks for online: attention, understanding, someone who stays. This guide lists the warning signs, the most common scenarios and what to do if you think you are being targeted. It applies to every platform, including dating between neurodivergent people.

Fake profile, catfish, romance scam: what are we talking about?

These words overlap without meaning quite the same thing:

• a fake profile: an invented or stolen identity, with photos that belong to someone else or are generated by artificial intelligence
• catfishing: pretending to be someone else online, sometimes without any financial goal
• a romance scam: building an emotional relationship in order to get money
• an investment scam: the relationship is used to draw you into a fake investment, often in cryptocurrency
• sextortion: obtaining intimate images, then threatening to share them in order to get money
• bots and bait profiles: accounts that push you towards paid sites, webcam sites or pages that steal your bank details

All these scenarios have one thing in common: at some point, someone you have never met asks you for something of value.

A massive and widely under-reported problem

In the United States, losses from romance and confidence scams reported to the FBI jumped by more than a third in 2025, to nearly a billion dollars in a single year. People over 60 account for most of these losses, but no age group is spared: young adults are the ones who report the most sextortion attempts.

According to the US consumer protection authority (FTC), nearly 60% of people who lost money to a romance scam in 2025 said it all started on social media. The first contact does not always come from a dating site: an online game, a messaging app or even a text sent "by mistake" can be the way in.

In the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada and the European Union, the authorities see the same thing: romance scams are among the most widespread or most costly frauds, and they are growing. These figures are still far below reality. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre estimates that only 5 to 10% of frauds are reported: many victims stay silent, out of shame or because it takes them time to understand what happened to them.

The signs of a fake profile

A single clue proves nothing. It is the accumulation that should alert you:

• model or magazine-style photos, all very polished, or all from the same photo shoot
• no everyday photos, never a photo with friends or family, never a new photo when you ask for one
• a job that keeps the person far away while inspiring trust: soldier on deployment, employee of an international organisation, oil rig worker, businessman or businesswoman abroad
• a story that calls for compassion: recently widowed, a child to raise, a sick parent
• inconsistencies between age, city, education, language level and what the person tells you
• a brand-new account that writes to you very quickly and very warmly
• a vague, very generic bio, or one copied word for word from another profile
• a location close to you, but a person who has "just arrived" or is "leaving soon"

Be careful not to reverse the logic. A short profile, very direct writing, literal answers or shaky spelling are not signs of a scam: many autistic, ADHD or dyslexic people write that way. A real profile can be awkward; a fake one is often too perfect. If you want to make your own profile clearer for the right people, our guide to writing your bio can help.

Check a photo in a few seconds

A reverse image search finds where a photo appears elsewhere on the internet. Google Lens, Bing and TinEye do it for free: you upload the photo or a screenshot, and the tool shows the pages that contain it. If your match's face appears under another name, on an influencer's account or in a stock photo library, the question is settled.

A search with no results does not prove the profile is genuine, though. The FBI reports that scammers now build profiles and conversation scripts with artificial intelligence tools, along with generated faces that exist nowhere else. Some details can give away a fabricated image (distorted hands, mismatched jewellery, an inconsistent background, unreadable text), but recent tools leave almost none.

Even a video call is no longer an absolute guarantee: some software can replace a face in real time. A video call that is always very short, in dim light, with a picture that freezes or sound that lags calls for caution. The most reliable test is still meeting in a public place.

The signs in the conversation

A romance scam script almost always follows the same progression. These behaviours should make you slow down:

• the rush: declarations of love within days, "you are the person I was waiting for", plans to live together before you have even met
• leaving the app quickly: the person insists on moving to WhatsApp or another messaging app, away from reporting and moderation
• never being able to meet: broken camera, weak connection, confidential mission, a trip constantly postponed
• the perfect mirror: they love exactly what you love, share your values, your sense of humour and even your special interest, as if they had read your profile to match it
• the mismatch: generic answers that do not pick up on what you wrote, changes in writing style, hours that do not fit the country they claim to be in
• targeted curiosity: precise questions about your job, your savings, your home, your family or your loneliness
• secrecy: "don't tell your family, they wouldn't understand what we have"
• one drama after another: every week brings a new problem, always more serious

Taken one at a time, some of these behaviours also exist in sincere relationships. A person can fall in love quickly, hate being on camera or go through a hard time. The difference shows when you set a boundary: a sincere person accepts it, a scammer negotiates, guilt-trips or pressures you.

Staying on the site: your best protection

If you only remember one piece of advice, make it this one: as long as you have any doubt, keep the conversation on the site or app where you met, for as long as it takes. A sincere person has no reason to rush you off it. A scammer does: it is often one of their very first requests.

Staying on the platform keeps you within reach of its protections: you can report or block in a few seconds, and moderation can look at what was said. Time is on your side too. A scammer writes to dozens of people at once: the longer you stay, the more likely they are to be reported by one of them and removed before you get attached. On a private messaging app, nobody can close the conversation for you.

On Atypiklove, every report about a profile or a conversation is reviewed by a person on the moderation team. When an account is banned for scamming, the conversation is closed and everyone who exchanged messages with it receives a notification to warn them. The alert reaches you even if you carried on elsewhere, but out there, nothing protects you from the next message.

In practice, always refuse to leave the site quickly, even when the request is friendly or seems well justified ("I hardly ever log in here", "my subscription ends tomorrow"). If the pressure continues after a clear no, you have your answer.

The moment everything tips over: the request

Sooner or later, the scammer asks. Sometimes after a few days, sometimes after months: the longer the relationship has lasted, the harder it is to say no. The most common requests:

• paying medical bills, a plane ticket, a visa or whatever it takes to get out of trouble
• paying "customs fees" to release a valuable parcel supposedly meant for you
• buying gift cards or prepaid top-up vouchers and sending the codes
• sending cryptocurrency, often through an app the person helps you install step by step
• receiving money into your account or a parcel at your home, then sending it on elsewhere
• passing on a code received by text message, a photo of your ID or your banking login details

The last two requests are particularly dangerous. By moving money or parcels, you can become a money mule for a criminal network and be prosecuted for money laundering yourself. A code received by text message is almost always used to take over an account or approve a payment in your name.

According to the FBI, gift cards and prepaid cards are the payment method romance scam victims mention most often, ahead of cryptocurrency and bank transfers. They all have one thing in common: once the money has gone, it is very hard to get back.

The rule fits in one sentence: someone you have never met who asks you for money, whatever their story, is scamming you until proven otherwise.

Investment scams: when love is the bait

In this variant, the scammer asks for nothing at first. They talk about their success, a relative who is a finance expert, a trading platform that pays off handsomely. Then they offer to show you how. The scenario almost always unfolds like this:

1. You open an account on a website or app that looks professional, recommended by your match.
2. A first deposit quickly shows gains, and a small withdrawal works, which builds trust.
3. You are encouraged to invest more, sometimes by borrowing or emptying your savings.
4. When you want your money back, the platform demands "taxes", "release fees" or a paid verification. Then the account is frozen.

The gains on screen never existed: the platform is a stage set. This scheme is often called pig butchering, "fattening the pig before the slaughter", because the relationship is used to grow the deposits before taking everything. A match who advises you to invest, even a small amount, is a major warning sign. The US consumer protection authority puts it simply: if someone you meet online offers to help you invest in cryptocurrency, it is a scam.

According to the FBI, cryptocurrency investment fraud became the largest source of financial losses reported to it in 2025. These operations are largely run by criminal networks in Southeast Asia that force victims of human trafficking to work for them: the person writing to you may themselves be held against their will.

Sextortion: when intimacy becomes a threat

The scenario moves fast. The conversation turns sexual very quickly, the person sends (stolen) photos and pushes you to do the same, or suggests an intimate video call that they record. Shortly afterwards comes the blackmail: pay, or the images will be sent to your contacts, to your employer or posted online.

If this happens to you:

• do not pay: paying almost always leads to new demands and guarantees nothing will be deleted
• stop the exchange without negotiating, but without deleting the conversation
• take screenshots of the profile, the messages, the threats and the payment methods requested
• report the account to the platform and to the social networks involved, then file a police report
• ask platforms where the images appear to remove them: sharing them without consent is illegal in many countries, and the StopNCII.org tool, recommended by several authorities, can also block them from being posted on major networks without you ever sending the image itself

You did nothing wrong by sharing intimacy with someone you trusted. The fault, and the crime, belong to the person making the threats.

Scams that target your data rather than your heart

Some fake profiles are not looking for a relationship, but for a way in:

• fake verification: a match offers you a "free" verification link to "prove you are real" or to stay safe from predators; the site asks for your card details, signs you up for paid services and may sell your data (the FBI has issued a warning about this exact trap)
• redirecting to another site: a very attractive profile quickly invites you to their webcam page, private site or another service
• fake support: a message claims to come from customer service and asks for your password, a code or a payment to "reactivate" your account
• booby-trapped links: a login page that imitates a social network or your bank

No serious platform will ask you to verify yourself on a third-party site suggested by another member.

Why nobody is immune

Being scammed has nothing to do with intelligence. Scammers exploit universal human mechanisms: the need for attachment, hope, reciprocity ("he has done so much for me") and the money already committed, which makes each new payment harder to refuse. They work with scripts refined on thousands of people.

Some neurodivergent traits can also be spotted and exploited. These are not weaknesses, they are levers the scammer has learned to use:

• taking words at face value, and finding it hard to pick up on implied meanings or double talk, which many autistic people experience
• hyperfocus on a new relationship and quick decisions, common with ADHD
• a fear of rejection that makes saying no costly and pushes you to do favours to keep the bond
• the intensity of a crush that turns into limerence, or of anxious attachment
• masking fatigue: after years of masking, meeting someone who seems to understand you effortlessly is immensely powerful

Mentioning your diagnosis on your profile remains your choice, and it helps the right people find you (see our guide to talking about autism or ADHD). Just be aware that a scammer can use it to tailor their story: "me neither, nobody has ever understood me".

Rules to set in advance

When a relationship speeds up, emotions make every decision harder. Rules decided in advance, applied to everyone without exception, protect you without having to judge each situation. For example:

1. I never send money, cryptocurrency, gift cards or codes to someone I have not met.
2. I keep the conversation on the site or app as long as I have the slightest doubt, and at least until we have had a video call.
3. I have a video call before getting attached, then a meeting in a public place.
4. I do not share any intimate images with someone I have never seen.
5. I never pass on a code received by text message, a password or a copy of my ID.
6. Before any money decision linked to an online relationship, I talk to someone I trust.
7. A request for secrecy is a stop signal for me.

These rules can be said without accusing anyone:

• "Before we go further, I need a short video call. I ask everyone."
• "I don't lend money to people I haven't met. It's nothing personal."
• "I'd rather we keep chatting here for now."

The reaction matters more than the answer. A sincere person says okay, even if disappointed. A scammer insists, takes offence, makes you feel guilty or invents a new emergency. Saying no without justifying yourself is a skill you can learn: our guide to setting boundaries offers wording. And if a very real profile later shows controlling behaviour, the article on relationship red flags helps you tell the difference.

First date: staying careful offline

Fake profiles rarely try to meet you. A real meeting still calls for a few precautions: a public place, a journey you control, someone you trust who knows the time and place, and the freedom to leave at any moment without explaining yourself. Our first date guide details how to prepare a meeting that also respects your sensory needs.

If you think you are a victim: what to do, in order

1. Stop the payments and the contact. Do not send anything more, even to "unlock" what you have already sent, and do not explain anything: you owe nothing to someone who lied to you.
2. Call your bank immediately. The faster you report it, the better the chance that a transfer or payment can be stopped or disputed.
3. Keep the evidence. Screenshots of the profile and conversations, phone numbers, email addresses, crypto wallet addresses, receipts, transfer references.
4. Report the profile to the platform where you met, so that other people are not targeted.
5. File a report with the police or the official online fraud reporting service in your country.
6. Secure your accounts if you shared codes or passwords: change them and turn on two-factor authentication.

Then beware of "recovery" offers. After a scam, messages often offer to get the lost money back for a fee: fake lawyers, fake investigators, fake police officers, fake cryptocurrency experts. It is a second scam, aimed precisely at the victims of the first. No official service will make you pay to investigate or to return funds.

Finally, take care of yourself. A romance scam makes you lose twice: money, and a relationship that mattered, even if the person never existed. The grief is real, the shame often intense. Talk to someone close to you, a victim support organisation or a professional. Our article on grieving a relationship can also help you through this loss.

Helping someone close who doesn't believe it

When someone close to you is caught in a scam, confronting them head-on often pushes them to defend the relationship. The scammer has sometimes prepared them for it: "they'll be jealous of us". A few ideas:

• ask questions rather than making statements: "Have you two ever had a video call?", "Why doesn't he ask his family for help?"
• offer to do a reverse image search together
• share accounts of similar scams, without pinning them directly onto their story
• stay available, even if they refuse to listen: the day doubt sets in, they will need someone to come back to without shame

Join Atypiklove

On Atypiklove, you can report a profile or a conversation and block someone from the menu on their profile or in your chat: blocking makes you invisible to each other and stops the messages. Bios, photos and posts go through automated and human moderation, contact details are not allowed in bios, and a warning appears when someone sends you a phone number or an email address. Subscriptions are only paid on the site, through Stripe: a member who asks you for money never acts on behalf of the platform.

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